Lift Your Hat

left your hat

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.

For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned he had a hat over his privates.

A woman walks past and says, snickering, “If you were a gentleman you’d lift your hat.”

He raised an eyebrow and replied, “If you weren’t so ugly, it would lift itself.”

Yo Momma Jokes #1

Yo mamma’s so fat, she tripped over a rock and fell asleep trying to get up!

Yo mama so ugly when she joined the ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.

Yo mama’s teeth are so crooked, when she smiles her mouth looks like its throwin’ up gang signs.

Yo mama so ugly she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

Yo mama’s teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.

Yo mama’s so skinny, her pants have one belt loop.

Yo mamma’s so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said, “to be continued.”

Yo mama’s so skinny, you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio.

Yo mama’s so skinny, if she had dreads I’d grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor.

Yo mama’s so skinny, instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent.

Yo mama’s so skinny, her bra fits better backward.

Yo mama’s so skinny, she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.

Yo mama’s so skinny, she uses Chap stick for deodorant.

Yo mama’s so skinny, she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.