Yo Momma Jokes #1

Yo mamma’s so fat, she tripped over a rock and fell asleep trying to get up!

Yo mama so ugly when she joined the ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.

Yo mama’s teeth are so crooked, when she smiles her mouth looks like its throwin’ up gang signs.

Yo mama so ugly she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

Yo mama’s teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.

Yo mama’s so skinny, her pants have one belt loop.

Yo mamma’s so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said, “to be continued.”

Yo mama’s so skinny, you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio.

Yo mama’s so skinny, if she had dreads I’d grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor.

Yo mama’s so skinny, instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent.

Yo mama’s so skinny, her bra fits better backward.

Yo mama’s so skinny, she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.

Yo mama’s so skinny, she uses Chap stick for deodorant.

Yo mama’s so skinny, she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.

Funny Movie Quotes

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks! It’s going be a bumpy ride!
– Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Sucking the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone.
– Dead Poets Society (1989)

I’ve always believed that if done properly, armed robbery doesn’t have to be an unpleasant experience.
– Thelma & Louise (1991)

The seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake.
– The Little Mermaid (1989)

Do not speak to me of rules. This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
– The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
– When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

Stupid is as stupid does.
– Forrest Gump (1994)

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
– National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke.
– As Good As It Gets (1997)