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Obama was out joggin when he tripped and fell off a bridge into a creek. Three kids rescued him. Grateful for being alive he offers them whatever they want. The first kid wants to go to Disneyland. Obama says he will take him in Air Force 1. The second kid wants a new pair of Air Jordans. Obama says he will have Michael Jordan sign them. The third kid wants a motorized wheelchair with a built in tv and stereo. Obama looks confused and says the kid doesnt look handicapped. The kid replies “I will be when Dad finds out I saved your butt from drowning”
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Yo mamma’s so fat, she tripped over a rock and fell asleep trying to get up!
Yo mama so ugly when she joined the ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.
Yo mama’s teeth are so crooked, when she smiles her mouth looks like its throwin’ up gang signs.
Yo mama so ugly she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.
Yo mama’s teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
Yo mama’s so skinny, her pants have one belt loop.
Yo mamma’s so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said, “to be continued.”
Yo mama’s so skinny, you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio.
Yo mama’s so skinny, if she had dreads I’d grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor.
Yo mama’s so skinny, instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent.
Yo mama’s so skinny, her bra fits better backward.
Yo mama’s so skinny, she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.
Yo mama’s so skinny, she uses Chap stick for deodorant.
Yo mama’s so skinny, she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.
I have been dealing with some personal issues and am back. I appologize for going bye bye and have restored the site to a more “clean” time.
I am looking for someone that can update Laugh To Death daily, I have been so busy with work that i have been falling behind in this. Use the contact link at the top of the page to inquire. This isn’t a paid position but the person chosen can advertise his/her banners and text link on Laugh To Death.Com.
I won’t have an update today, I am taking the day to work on server updates and some software for my other sites. I will however, double post tomorrow!
It seems that my site blows chunks. So, I am going to revert to funny pics and jokes…. because the news just isn’t friggin funny without Clinton, Kim Jong Il, or Bush in the picture constantly.
Having trouble leaving the World of Warcraft to meet a girl who will do what you need? Well meet Roxxxy, the first robotic girlfriend or as I call it “sex bot”. She can’t walk her own 120 pound ass to the bedroom, but her 3 “special places” are anatomically correct and fully functional. Apparently, she can’t do the dishes, but she talks, feels touches, and even sleeps.
It took True Companion two decades to develop her. They had an earlier version named Trudy, but she wasn’t very user friendly. If you ask me, Roxxxy needs a bit of work in the face, but hey that’s just my opinion.
Get more info on the Sex Bot at here.
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An American Airlines jet took a detour to Nashville, Tennessee after the scent of sulfur filled the fuselage. They thought it was from matches and all of the 99 passengers and crew were removed from the plane while it was searched. It turned out that a woman with a medical condition farted and lit the match to mask the smell. Though they were safety matches, lighting them is not allowed on airliners. The flatulent and highly embarrassed woman was questioned but not arrested.
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When parents-to-be Dawn Kelley and William Hickman looked at the ultrasound can of their unborn child, they spotted something else: the face of late pop singer Michael Jackson. “We were looking at the pictures again, and I just saw Jacko there,” Hickman told the U.K.’s Telegraph. Kelley, who is 24 weeks pregnant said, “I’ve had plenty of scans before and none of the photos have ever looked like this one. It’s a bit spooky really.” (NNP/North News)
